It’s hump day! One of my favorite days of the week because it’s a day where I can say hump for absolutely no reason. I can say it at my workout class, to my lyft driver, to my doorman, to absolutely anyone and it won’t be awkward.

If you know me personally, you know that my favorite body part is the booty! In this post I will share with you my journey with my ass obsession.

My obsession with butts started in 8th grade going into High School. I went to school with a lot of Spanish girls who had nice butts for 8th graders. I know that sounds inappropriate but it wasn’t a sexual attraction more so than a fascination on how bouncy and big a butt can be.

It was not until High School my fascination became sexual. I remember my first summer as a teenager going to the beach and seeing all the fat asses. I felt like I was in heaven. I had this feeling in me like I wanted to stuff my face in between all the cracks I saw. I’m not going to lie, I was the creep where I would tell my cousins to stand in the vicinity of the butt just so I can get an image of it. It was then I realized what a nice butt can do for a person. ATTRACT and that is what I wanted.

I wasn’t the cutest person growing up or at least I don’t think people I went to school with knew what real beauty looked like. So I thought a nice butt could make up for it. Soon after I was doing everything I thought would give me the perfect butt.

I would do 100 squats in my room everyday and then check my butt immediately after every set to see if it grew a little.

I did home workout videos that included the words “booty” “glutes” “tight” “nice butt” . I even ordered a workbook that swore it would make your butt huge. It was a total scam. I should’ve known with the absurd size of the butt on the cover.

As I got older, I found out what weight training could do for your butt. I squatted heavy and deadlifted heavy. My butt was finally getting to the size I wanted. It was not until college when I realized I actually had a nice butt. It finally felt like my workouts were paying off. It was the moments when I would fuck someone and they would compliment my booty that made me really happy. They loved smacking it, squeezing it, putting their dick in it. I was so proud of myself.

Just as I was starting to love my booty, all these fake asses started popping up on social media. All of a sudden everyone had a Kardashian butt! Was this fake butt next for me on my journey? Did I want that butt? My obsession with my butt started to become unhealthy.

I would look at a butt that was clearly fake and then look at mines and be disappointed.

My results from my workouts were no longer satisfying me. I didn’t even care about the compliments I was getting from the guys I was fucking. This was another level of butt that I needed.

I started overdoing my workouts. I was lifting heavy way too fast without getting the rest my body needed. This eventually led me to get a herniated disc. I remember watching an old man struggling to sit on a bench and thinking wow, I have the back of an old man.

With a herniated disc, I couldn’t lift. I became depressed thinking about how my butt was going to deflate. I was also praying that the phrase “you got it from your mama” was not true because my mother did not have the butt I wanted! What felt like months felt like years.

Finally after some rest, I got the okay to lift! It was sad at first because not only was I scared to lift, but I had to start all over. It seemed like just yesterday I was squatting 225lbs and now I was squatting 45lbs. Luckily, my body was already used to lifting, so getting back to it was easier than I expected.

Fast forward to therapy, I came to a realization that I had an unhealthy view of what I thought was healthy for me. Although I was working out which is good for my body, I was putting this extra pressure on myself to have a perfect butt which was not good for my mental health. I had a body image issue.

I had to be real with myself and tell myself that I was comparing myself to people with a different lifestyle and a different body type. I was giving myself impossible expectations. If I continued this route I would never be happy. I was essentially making myself miserable.

I had to change my mindset to what healthy really means. For example, when I workout I no longer determine my workouts on my appearance. Instead, I think about how I feel and how proud I am for getting a workout in. Because let’s be real, who is actually doing that for themselves?

This approach has made me love my workouts and my body more. I have a deeper appreciation for what my body is able to do more than how it looks. Like I’m proud of myself for being able to get in poses that most people probably can’t get into or how cool is it that I can sit in a 100 degree room and do yoga. Or how I can survive and feel great after boxing for 45 minutes.

Wow, what a journey. I’m really glad I went through this because it also made me more in tune with my sexuality. Part of your sexual journey is loving yourself unconditionally and for some that starts with realizing what is healthy for you. Remember, whenever you are doing something especially when it comes to appearance, you ask yourself who are you doing it for. If the answer is not for you, that might be the thing in your gut that is not making you happy.

With that being said, I’m still obsessed with nice butts especially mine. I still turn my head when I see a nice one. It’s now just a lot healthier than before. The only thing I have to work on is checking out my butt whenever I pass a mirror. My boyfriend says I’m the only one who wakes up in the morning and checks their butt out. But I disagree… or am I?!

I hope with this post, you can learn to love your body more. It’s not about looks, it’s about how you feel with yourself that matters more.

Stay Sexy & Curious

Instagram: @Sexishh

Disclaimer: Many of the links (not all) provided are affiliate links which means that I may get commission if you purchase something using the link on my website. (Thank you in advance) This is at no cost to you at all. I only share things that I believe would help one in their sexual journey. All my opinions and advice are my own. I am not a doctor or therapist so if you have any real life concerning questions, I am not the one.