Tag: sexish challenge

Bring a Sex Toy in the Bedroom: Sexish Challenge Day 3

It’s day 3 in the Sexish Challenge to Spice up Your Sex Life!

Today’s challenge to spice up your sex life is to bring a sex toy in the bedroom! If you are not already doing this, why not?! I’m not saying that you need a sex toy during partnered sex to have an orgasm but it definitely enhances the experience. It may not be for everyone but, I think it’s worth trying.

I believe sex toys open doors to pleasure that you never knew existed. If you’ve watched Everything Everywhere All at Once, it’s like channeling into other universes. It sounds intense because it is!

I’ve always been the one to bring sex toys in the bedroom. If I knew I was going to sleep with someone that night, I always made sure that I had at least one toy in my overnight bag. I did this because I knew I wanted to have an orgasm regardless if it was given to me or not. I was in control of my orgasm every time.

Of course there are people who want to bring sex toys in the bedroom but they’re afraid of hurting their partners feelings. They’re afraid their partner’s ego will get hurt and it will make them feel like they’re not enough.

If your partner feels this way when the topic of bringing a sex toy in the bedroom comes up, it maybe that he really isn’t doing enough or he lacks the knowledge of what sex toys can do in the bedroom. It’s normal to be a little confused if one has never heard of such a thing before. Still, no one should feel intimidated instead they should be supportive and encouraging.

Bringing sex toys in the bedroom is a great way to spice up your sex life. If you’re interested in doing this but don’t know how to approach your partner, I gotchu!! Here are some pointers to introduce it to your partner.

How to Introduce sex toys in the bedroom

  • Explain to your partner why you want to bring sex toys in the bedroom: This is a great time to explain to your partner that it’s not because he isn’t enough but because you’re curious about how it can enhance your sex together. Put emphasis on how this would be a great opportunity to explore each others sexuality. Involving your partner in the explanation makes it easier for them to be open to the idea. Remember to use words that sound inviting and words that come off curious. Avoid sounding like you’re complaining or criticizing the sex you’re having right now.

P.S. you can also mention how your friend on SEXISH says it’s life changing and worth a try. 😉

  • Masturbate in front of your partner: Pick your favorite sex toy and tell your partner that you want to show him “how it works”. Not only will he be curious about how it works but he will also be so turned on that he will want to join you. Trust me, he would hate to interrupt you if you are enjoying yourself. This is a great way for you to tell him how you want to be fucked while you are using your toy.
  • Find the right sex toy together: Make finding the right sex toy a couple’s activity! I recommend going to your local sex store and both of you asking your sales person all the questions you may have. This will give both of you guys an idea of what type of toy and experience you are looking for.
  • Be open to compromise: While we would love the answer from our partner to be positive and supportive, sometime’s it’s not. It’s important that you go to your partner with exactly what you want and also to be open to what your partner has to say. As long as you don’t get a hard “no” (in which case you should dump their ass. jk… not…jk.. but no really, think about it.), you can always come up with a solution where both of you will be happy.

Go to sex toys for partnered sex:

When I’m looking for a sex toy I can use for partnered sex, I’m looking two things. One, the grip has to be comfortable. I don’t like toys that make my hand sore from the vibration. And two, I like a toy that is the right size which means I like a toy that doesn’t get in the way. The toy shouldn’t be a distraction, it should be a friendly addition like a helping hand.

Satisfyer Pro 2 (use code SEXISH for 10% off)

We all know how much I love The Satisfyer Pro 2. This is on my bedside at all times. The only times you won’t see it there is if it’s dead. It has the perfect grip and it never gets in the way during penetration. It works in all sex positions even in missionary!







Le Wand Massager (use code SEXISH for 10% off)

The wand is a classic in partnered sex. Most popular is the Hitatchi but brands like Le Wand has created wands that are much more appealing and travel friendly.

The long handle makes holding the wand much easier during sex. My only issue with it is that it is super strong especially if you’re sensitive. I find that when I’m using this for a long time, my entire vulva goes numb. So numb to the point I can hardly feel anything. I suggest using this when you’re on the brink of cumming to avoid going numb.






Lovehoney Sensual Glass Curved Beaded Dildo

I love adding dildos during partnered sex. It almost feels like a threesome except without an actual body involved. You can get creative with it by using the toy at the same time as you’re getting penetrated or separately.








We-Vibe Chorus App and Remote Controlled Rechargeable Couple’s Vibrator

Remote controlled sex toys can be fun during sex! The idea of having your pleasure in someone else’s control is a turn on! Check out toys from We Vibe for app and remote controlled sex toys. Who says sex toys has to be played with in the bedroom only?








I hope this post was helpful for you to have a successful day 3 of Sexish’s Spice Up Your Sex Life Challenge! What sex toys do you use during partnered sex? if you’re not using toys, why not? I want to know! Leave a comment!

Stay Sexy & Curious!


Meditation Masturbation

It’s day 2 of Sexish Spice up your Sex Life Challenge and today’s challenge is meditation masturbation. If you already practice yoga, this will be easy!

Meditation Masturbation is bringing traditional meditation into your masturbation sessions to bring awareness to what is pleasurable to you. In other words, the goal isn’t to orgasm but to feel all the feelings that arise when you are masturbating. This will eventually help with your orgasms alone and with partnered sex. 

As humans we are always so busy. We’re constantly thinking about how we’re going to make money, what we’re going to eat tonight, did I leave the stove off? No wonder it’s so hard for some of us to orgasm when we masturbate or during partner sex. Our brains are constantly thinking about the future. 

Meditation masturbation forces you to focus on pleasure instead of your crazy hectic life. Which is why I included this challenge. This challenge challenges one to take a beat and to acknowledge all the different sensations one can feel. Sometimes the best way to do that is by focusing on just that. I believe it’s important we understand our bodies and we know what makes us feel good! How do you expect someone else to figure out how to make you feel good when you can’t do that for yourself?

This may seem intimidating but it really isn’t! It’s actually really simple! Here is a “How to” to get you started.

How to practice meditation masturbation:

    1. Block a time in your day: You’ll want to plan your meditation masturbation on a day where you have 0 distractions and 0 responsibilities. Aim for the weekend as your brain recognizes that it’s the time to relax!
    2. Set the mood: Do whatever you have to do to get you in the mood to feel sexy. For me, the environment is everything. I like to burn palo santo and let the smoke fill the air to clear out any bad energy in the room. Also, I use essential oils to wake up my senses to relax and stay focused. Some of my favorite oils are eucalyptus and peppermint. MMMM!!
      Palo Santo

      Peppermint Essential Oil


  1. Get in a comfortable position: I suggest laying on your back with your knees bent. Either your feet on the bed or with your legs in butterfly position. Relax try not to tense up.
  2. Breathe: Before you do anything, practice focusing on your breathing. I like to breathe in for 4 secs and breathe out for 4secs. Continue to do this throughout your masturbation session. Check out Masturbation Tip: Breathe in and out.
  3. Set an intention: Set an intention for your masturbation session. Why are you doing this? An intention I like to set for myself is “ I am open to feeling” “I am open to letting go” “I am doing this for me” “I don’t need to cum, just relax.” I like to repeat my intentions while I masturbate especially when my mind starts to wander. 
  4. Touch yourself: Don’t rush this time for yourself. Explore each body part as if you were going on a date with them. Squeeze, rub, caress, play with the pressure. Get creative on how you touch yourself. Something that I enjoyed was squeezing my inner thighs with my hands while at the same time squeezing my legs together. TRY IT! Remember to breathe while you’re doing all of this! It’s easy to tense up especially when you start to feel something different. 
  5. Rock your hips: Don’t just lay there, move your hips! Move it in circles, up and down. Pretend you’re at a club grinding your butt on someone’s dick. Imagine your goal is to get the other person hard.
  6. Let go: Literally, let go! Feel and embrace the different sensations you’re feeling. Don’t stop at any point unless you’re hurting. Ya heard?! HURTING NOT PLEASURING!

The goal isn’t to orgasm but you probably will and trust me you will not be mad. I find that when I focus on my breathing while I masturbate, I cum a lot faster. I just can’t help it. So when you find that you’re cumming way sooner than you want to, slow it down. Take the sex toy away from you or lower the intensity. 

As you practice your breathing in your meditation session, you’ll be able to bring it to your partnered sex. Watch your time transform.

I hope this helps! If you decide to join the challenge #sexishchallenge

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @Sexishh