Tag: relationship

How I Became Comfortable with my BF Watching Porn

Before being in a relationship I would have fuckbuddy’s. We would watch porn together or they would watch porn alone. Either way, I was fine with it. I figured we were never going to end up in a long term relationship so there was no reason to bug them about it. 

It was not until I got into a relationship when  I felt some type of way when I found out my partner was watching porn without me. Yes, we’d watch porn together and it was fine, but alone? “Why would he need to watch porn alone,” is what I was thinking.  All these emotions started coming up. Emotions I would hear from couples in the past that I never thought I’d experience myself. I felt confused, betrayed, insecure, and jealous. 

I’m here to tell you, you are not alone for feeling the way you do when you discover your partner watches porn. It can be a terrible feeling especially when done secretly. 

With that being said, I still don’t believe that finding your partner watching porn should be a deal breaker in relationships. Of course, that is up to you to decide but hear me out. Most of the reasons why one wouldn’t be okay with their partner watching porn has a lot to do with internal issues that haven’t been resolved. 

It wasn’t easy for me to accept my partner watching porn at first. We had to have a lot of honest and vulnerable conversations with each other. There were tears, laughter, and feelings of embarrassment but it was all worth it. It made our relationship stronger and we got to know each other more along the way.

Since becoming comfortable with the fact my partner watches porn, I feel less stressed. I’m now able to focus on the bigger picture instead of focusing on something I cannot control.

I’m also able to practice what I stand for with Sexish which is to help others embrace their sexuality. Either being an advocate for women to playing with themselves or being an advocate for men who want to jerk off alone because they have fantasies, too. As long as no one is getting hurt in the process, I’m here for it!

How to be comfortable with your partner watching porn:

1.Have a conversation with your partner: Once you begin to feel some type of way when you find out your partner watches porn, journal your feelings or talk about it with a friend first. It’s never a good idea to have a conversation when you are upset. You’ll end up going off on your emotions which are not always true. 

Once you’re ready to have a conversation, be honest and open with your partner about how him watching porn makes you feel. You can even use this time to ask him any questions that will answer any of your assumptions you had about him to make you feel more comfortable.

Also, you’ll notice just having your partner listen and respect you will make you feel better. Often during these moments we feel that our partner might not care or even want to listen to what we have to say about this topic. You’d be surprise what a conversation can do!

Keep in mind that masturbating and watching porn for your partner might be a private thing so, proceed the conversation in a non judgmental way. 

2. Define what cheating means to you: Does cheating involve a physical person? Is emotionally flirting considered cheating? Is watching someone else fuck considered cheating?

Ask yourself these questions and if you end up with the answer of “porn is not cheating,” then try to reframe your thoughts on porn. Porn has always had a bad rep in the media and it’s not a surprise that it’s the reason why you dislike the idea of your partner watching it. 

I like to think of pornstars as performers since they are performing an act that most of us can not do. Or, I like to think of pornstars as strictly fantasy and that my boyfriend will never get a chance to bang them in real life. Thinking this way makes me less insecure he’s going to cheat on me with them. 

Once you’ve established the definition of cheating with each other, you will feel more comfortable knowing where both of you stand in your relationship.

3. I stopped being controlling:  Another way I started to become comfortable with the fact my partner watches porn is by getting rid of the idea that I can change him. As much as I’d like for him to only fantasize about me, I would be a hypocrite if I forced that on him. 

Let’s be real, whenever I feel sexy, I throw on porn and masturbate. I’ll fantasize about the big black dicks on the screen and wish that I was the woman being gang banged. If that was taken away from me, I’d be devastated. I would hate for anyone to feel they cannot express themselves sexually especially if that is something they do in private. If I’m really uncomfortable about the topic I will make sure to leave before I shame someone for expressing their sexuality. 

4. Make porn watching an activity you do together: If you’re still getting used to your partner watching porn, try watching porn with them. Watching porn together will give you guys the opportunity to learn new things about each other sexually as well as grow your relationship stronger.

By doing this, you get a sneak peak of their world they go into when they are watching porn. You’ll most likely take it less personally the next time you think of them watching porn because you’ll know that he does this activity for fun and you’ll realize it has nothing to do with the relationship. 

5. Why do you feel that way?: It’s important to understand why you feel the way you do. Pretend you already know the backstory to why your partner watches porn. He’s told you that it has nothing to do with you, that he loves your body the way it is, and that masturbating to porn is part of exploring his sexuality. That, pulse you watch porn, too. 

If after that, you cannot get over the fact that he watches porn, maybe it’s time to talk to your therapist or someone about this topic. This topic can be triggering for you and it’s worth finding out why. If we say we’re confident and secure with ourselves, why do we still have an issue?

Watching porn is normal! While it’s easy to think about the negative reasons why one watches porn, there are plenty of positive ones. Such as education, arousal, self curiosity, boredom, stress relief, etc. Because there are so many positive reasons why your partner watches porn, I believe you can be comfortable with this fact! 

When it comes to sexuality, we cannot be hypocrites. Just because we were told this narrative about porn doesn’t mean we have to stick with it. We are a new generation of sexual beings and we should look at it with a different perspective. It is not fair to judge someone for exploring their sexuality differently.

(I go back and forth between partner and bf without even thinking about it. I believe all my posts can be relatable to all genders. So, if it gets confusing, sorry!)

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @sexishh

How to Make your Man feel Attractive

Feeling sexy before, during and after sex is a must if you want to get full pleasure from any sex act you’re doing. In a partnership, it’s not enough that we feel sexy on our own. I believe when everyone in the relationship feels sexy, the sexier the sex will be.

Often when we think of sexy in the bedroom, we think of women. We put on lingerie to accentuate our bodies, we put on makeup to accentuate our face, man, we’ll even get a whole haircut to feel sexy. In other words, we put in the effort to look sexy while it feels like men just show up. Whether it’s toxic masculinity or not enough men speaking up about it, men do want to feel sexy and attractive, too.

If you’ve ever been on a team or if you’ve ever been cheered on before, you know the cheers make you perform better. You start to believe in yourself and then you go above and beyond to prove that you can do it. This is the same in a relationship. When we uplift each other in a relationship, the relationship gets stronger. Instead of acting like it’s all about one person, we’re now acting like a team.

It’s not easy for men to be vulnerable with us. It takes a lot of courage from them. We don’t even see men being the main focus in porn. I hope to see more porn like this to show that men can be sexy too! The only porn I have seen done that is “Seehimfuck.” Check it out if you want to see something different.

If we begin to make our man feel as sexy as they make us, it can open the doors for him to be more vulnerable, curious and be their truest sexiest self with us. They might even let us lick their booty hole! Let the fun begin!

On a daily, we should be making an effort to making our man feel as sexy as they make us. We should be uplifting each other. Whether it’s in bed, when we’re out for lunch, or if they’re jerking off. If you’re looking to have a stronger and healthier intimate relationship with your partner, start here.

How to Make your Man feel Sexy

– Don’t be upset when other women are checking your man out

Often we’ll see our man get checked out by other women and be upset. Instead of feeling jealousy, feel proud people are checking him out. You’re standing next to a beautiful person and it’s normal for people to look at beautiful people. I don’t know about you but I rather have a partner people check out vs no one checking them out.

– Turn their insecurities around

When we get into a relationship, it’s more than likely they’ve done something with their previous partner that they were shamed for. It could be for watching porn, showing off too much skin, or not being able to be themselves. Instead of shaming them, turn their insecurities to positives. Embrace that part of them. Let them know that you love them no matter what they’re into.

– Tell them how much they turn you on at random moments

Doesn’t matter where you are, tell them how much they turn you on at the most random moments. It could be as soon as they walk through the door, when they’re taking a shower, when they’re taking a shit. The more random the moment, the more sweeter it will be!

-Touch/grab your favorite body part of theirs

While you guys are chilling, try caressing his chest or rub his dick while you tell him that it’s your favorite body part of his. He’ll be sure to always come out confidently the next time he shows that part of himself.

– Look at him with those sexy eyes

Sometimes silence does speak louder than words. Staring at your mans eyes while thinking about all of the things you want to do to him can even be sexier than saying it. Randomly stare and admire him.

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @sexishh

How do you feel about making your man feel sexy? Comment below!

Subscribe to get updates on the latest posts!

Sexy Valentine’s Day Ideas for your Man

Alexa, play Something in Common by Bobby Brown & Whitney Houston

Every year, Valentine’s Day is portrayed as a woman’s holiday. The pink, the red, the heart shaped chocolates.

I have never seen a commercial or an ad telling me I should get my man a gift to show my appreciation for him.

Valentine’s day is a celebration of love and romance and not with any specific gender. St. Valentine, the man responsible for this holiday, married all types of couples. He married people who couldn’t marry because the leader at the time thought married couples distracted them from being a strong soldier.

It’s 2022 and the last time I checked, there are 13 million female entrepreneurs and still counting in the US alone. AKA we should share the pressure to showing our love for each other on Valentine’s Day. It’s only fair.

So for this Valentine’s Day, we are going to switch it up. Forget the goo goo ga ga lovey dovey stuff and restaurant reservations. I’m going to tell you how you can change up this holiday by making it interesting and sexy for everyone involved. Thank me later.

Fuck his Face

Yep, I’m getting straight to it. Think about it, men love getting their dick sucked especially if they’re being deep throated. If you are someone with a vagina, fuck your partner’s face with with it. You don’t have to lie there and pretend they’re doing a good job, make them do a good job. Try pressing their face against your clit until it’s the right pressure for you. Be in control of your pleasure for a change. Clit owners, get yours this Valentine’s Day!

Grapefruit Technique

Some of you may know about the grapefruit technique from the famous viral video by Auntie Angel or on Girls Trip. If this is new to you, check it out because it will make your day and spike your curiosity. Try the grapefruit technique this Valentine’s day with your partner.

  1. Cut a circle big enough for a hard dick in the middle of the grapefruit.
  2. Before putting the grapefruit on your partner, blindfold him. Tell him to relax. He will not be expecting it which will heighten the moment even more.
  3. Time to get your partner hard. Tease your partner by kissing him on his lips and then slowly make your way down to his dick.
  4. Once he’s hard as a rock, you’ll want to slide the grapefruit on it. He’ll be confused at first but will settle down as soon as you get sucking.
  5. Squeeze, suck, and turn the grapefruit at the same time for an exhilarating experience.

Not only will this be delicious for you but your partner will love it! It’s a win win!

P.S. This does get messy so make sure theres a towel under you.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Sexish (@sexishh)

Buy Each Other Sex Toys

Ladies, we love when we get sex toys as a present, get your partner a sex toy for a change! If you don’t see anything you think your partner would use, try getting a couples toy. I suggest going to your local sex shop together and exploring your options. This alone can be a fun activity together. Exploring your sexuality doesn’t have to be so traditional. It can and should be fun!


TIANI™ 24k by LELO

Moxie by We-Vibe
Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit (10 Piece)
Who is the Fastest Wanker toy?

Who is the Fastest Wanker?

Masturbate with Each Other

If you and your partner are looking for ways to connect on a deeper (pun intended) level, try masturbating with each other this Valentine’s Day. Throw up some porn, smoke some weed, and start touching yourself in front of each other. If you’re not sure how to start this, try touching your partner while touching yourself at the same time. Once you’ve gotten the “okay”, slowly back away and start feeling yourself. Touch yourself as if you were alone. This a great opportunity for you to learn what makes your partner feel good!

Do Something Personal

Do something personal for your partner this Valentine’s Day. Listen to your partner. What does your partner really need? It’s the unexpected presents that mean the most. If your partner has been complaining about being tired from work, offer a massage. If your partner has been talking about self care, go to Sephora and go on a shopping spree. Or put your face on his boxers and make him walk around in it!

My Face Boxer


Create an Aphrodisiac Menu

If you need help getting in the mood, try creating an aphrodisiac menu. You can get super creative with this. Set the mood with rose petals, candles, and a sexy outfit (Naked preferred.)


List of Aphrodisiacs:

  1. Chocolate
  2. Oysters
  3. Strawberries
  4. Asparagus
  5. Pomegranate
  6. Cinnamon
  7. Sweet Potatoes
  8. Maca
  9. Hot Chillies

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to involve a typical dinner and heart shaped chocolates. It can be sexy, wild, and full of cum! Remember this holiday is for every body and we should treat it like that.