Tag: sex advice

Tell Your Partner What you Want Sexually

Happy Monday!! Sorry, I’ve been slacking with my posts! A lot has been happening and I was away this past weekend at New Orleans celebrating my 2 year anniversary with my Boo. But, I’m back with a sex post that I promise you will change your sex life forever!

Continuing Spice Up Your Sex Life Challenge for this month, I have “Tell Your Partner What You Want Sexually” on the calendar.  In other words, don’t wait for him to tell you what he wants from you in bed, YOU tell him what you want from him! This will prevent a lot of running back to your girlfriends and gossiping about what you didn’t get in bed.

I think the reason why so many people believe men love sex more than women is because men are more vocal about sex and what they want in the bedroom. We can learn something from them because this seems to work for them not only in the bedroom but in the professional world. Hewlett Packard did a study on why women weren’t in top management and Forbes put it like this, “Men are confident about their ability at 60%, but women don’t feel confident until they’ve checked off each item on the list.”

When it comes to sex, we women check the box for everything on the list. I don’t know what that list looks like but I know that we check it all! I know this because I’ve seen what men will do for us and there is no way we can go wrong! The only times things go wrong is when we don’t ask for what we want to feel fulfilled.

Actually, what men don’t tell you is that they love it when a woman knows what they want in bed. You’d be surprised by how many men actually just want to sit down and not think about the next move. From experience, men are turned on by me because I know specifically what turns me on, what positions make me look good, and most importantly, what makes me feel good. Best believe if I want my booty spanked I will grab his hand and show him how I want to be spanked.

TRY THIS: Think about all the times you had sex with someone and then afterwards felt like something was missing. Sit down with yourself and list the things you wish would’ve happened for the moment to be more satisfying for you. Do you wish that he went down on you longer? Do you wish that he was more gentle with your clit? Do you wish that you didn’t feel rushed sucking his dick? Do you wish foreplay was longer? Do you wish he wouldn’t call you a bitch during sex? Do you wish that he could’ve pulled your hair a little harder?

Think about your perfect sex session and how that looks like. Of course, keep in mind that you can’t control the situation completely but you are able to do things for yourself that will make you feel more empowered and less shameful. 

If you’re intimidated by this, you can always start slow by saying “no” or speaking up when you feel uncomfortable. You’ll eventually get used to being more vocal in which you’ll begin to see your sex life change for the better!

I hope this advice helps and you give it a try! Remember, you can always go back to being submissive and not ask for what you want if you don’t like it.

The Spice up Your Sex Life challenge is supposed to challenge your way of thinking about what you already believe in. It’s to show you what could happen if you step out of your comfort zone. Make sure to leave a comment if you’re participating in this challenge. Again, you don’t need to follow the challenge everyday. If anything, treat it like BINGO and see how many you can do this month! That’s what I’m doing! HAVE FUN!!

Stay Sexy & Curious!


Sex Tip Tuesday: Work on yourself

Chillin in the jacuzzi

Sex Tip Tuesday! I’m going to try to make this a consistent thing so it’s something you look forward to. So please, hold me accountable and ask me for my tits, I mean TIPS if you don’t see it on Tuesday.

Tip: If you’re looking to have better sex , start with working on yourself.

Having good sex doesn’t start with blaming anyone in your life. I don’t care if it’s because your partner’s head game sucks, they’re wearing the wrong sized condom, they can’t last in bed. Blaming them for those things won’t help you have better sex with them.

It actually starts with yourself and being honest with yourself. It’s easier to blame someone for our sufferings instead of confronting them. The next time you’re going through something and it’s interfering with your sex life, really dive into why you’re feeling like that.

What does being honest with yourself look like?

– Admitting to yourself you’re insecure about something.

When we’re insecure, it’s easy for us to project it on to our partners which causes us to become bitter. How can you identify this insecurity and over come it?

– Admitting to yourself that you have never had an orgasm and you don’t know what that feels like.

It’s completely normal for a woman to feel like they’ve never orgasmed. About 4 out of 10 Americans say they’ve never had an orgasm. This has to do with so many factors from sexual history, lack of knowledge about the body, your day, medications, etc. So admitting this to yourself and to your partner will help you create a space that will open it to learning and discovering what feels good for you together. Dj Envy’s wife admitted to him that she was faking her orgasms for 10 years! I’m happy to say she is cumming now.

– What does love look like? What does it feel like?

Sometimes being in a relationship, we feel we know what love is but we still feel like something is off. Dive into why you feel like that. Defining your values in a relationship will help you come up with the answers.

– Admitting you’re afraid of the response if you speak up and say something.

Being honest with yourself by telling yourself that you’re afraid of speaking up is the first step. Why are you afraid? Tell yourself, if your partner doesn’t respond with respect and empathy then maybe he’s not the one for you. Could that be the reason why you’re not having the best sex?

– Telling yourself a position doesn’t feel good and then telling your partner.

When you’re honest with yourself, you can start to identify what feels good to you and what doesn’t. Once you can identify that, you can say something. It doesn’t have to ruin the mood. Remember you can always ask what you want in bed in a sexy way.

As you can see, being honest with yourself will help you identify why you’re really suffering. It’s not easy being vulnerable but it’s worth it. Knowing yourself is key to great sex and even a great life. If you know yourself it’s hard for anyone to break you.

“Stand for something or die in the morning”- Kendrick Lamar.

Watch Sex Tip Video here <3!

Stay Sexy & Curious

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How to Make your Man feel Attractive

Feeling sexy before, during and after sex is a must if you want to get full pleasure from any sex act you’re doing. In a partnership, it’s not enough that we feel sexy on our own. I believe when everyone in the relationship feels sexy, the sexier the sex will be.

Often when we think of sexy in the bedroom, we think of women. We put on lingerie to accentuate our bodies, we put on makeup to accentuate our face, man, we’ll even get a whole haircut to feel sexy. In other words, we put in the effort to look sexy while it feels like men just show up. Whether it’s toxic masculinity or not enough men speaking up about it, men do want to feel sexy and attractive, too.

If you’ve ever been on a team or if you’ve ever been cheered on before, you know the cheers make you perform better. You start to believe in yourself and then you go above and beyond to prove that you can do it. This is the same in a relationship. When we uplift each other in a relationship, the relationship gets stronger. Instead of acting like it’s all about one person, we’re now acting like a team.

It’s not easy for men to be vulnerable with us. It takes a lot of courage from them. We don’t even see men being the main focus in porn. I hope to see more porn like this to show that men can be sexy too! The only porn I have seen done that is “Seehimfuck.” Check it out if you want to see something different.

If we begin to make our man feel as sexy as they make us, it can open the doors for him to be more vulnerable, curious and be their truest sexiest self with us. They might even let us lick their booty hole! Let the fun begin!

On a daily, we should be making an effort to making our man feel as sexy as they make us. We should be uplifting each other. Whether it’s in bed, when we’re out for lunch, or if they’re jerking off. If you’re looking to have a stronger and healthier intimate relationship with your partner, start here.

How to Make your Man feel Sexy

– Don’t be upset when other women are checking your man out

Often we’ll see our man get checked out by other women and be upset. Instead of feeling jealousy, feel proud people are checking him out. You’re standing next to a beautiful person and it’s normal for people to look at beautiful people. I don’t know about you but I rather have a partner people check out vs no one checking them out.

– Turn their insecurities around

When we get into a relationship, it’s more than likely they’ve done something with their previous partner that they were shamed for. It could be for watching porn, showing off too much skin, or not being able to be themselves. Instead of shaming them, turn their insecurities to positives. Embrace that part of them. Let them know that you love them no matter what they’re into.

– Tell them how much they turn you on at random moments

Doesn’t matter where you are, tell them how much they turn you on at the most random moments. It could be as soon as they walk through the door, when they’re taking a shower, when they’re taking a shit. The more random the moment, the more sweeter it will be!

-Touch/grab your favorite body part of theirs

While you guys are chilling, try caressing his chest or rub his dick while you tell him that it’s your favorite body part of his. He’ll be sure to always come out confidently the next time he shows that part of himself.

– Look at him with those sexy eyes

Sometimes silence does speak louder than words. Staring at your mans eyes while thinking about all of the things you want to do to him can even be sexier than saying it. Randomly stare and admire him.

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @sexishh

How do you feel about making your man feel sexy? Comment below!

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