Category: Sexpert

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Spice Up Your Sex Life Challenge

It’s almost that time of the year where everyone can’t help but feel LOVE in the air! Oh and let’s not forget the most commercialized holiday.The media and the stores you go in will not let you forget it.

It’s only mid January, can we appreciate this moment as this is the first time in almost 3 years where we are not constantly talking about a pandemic. We’ve finally gone back to not knowing what happens at the White House and I’m happy about that. It’s back to being boring.

WOOOOSAAAAAAA.

OKAY back to sex. Whether you are spending the month of February alone, with a fuck buddy or with a partner, I have a challenge for you. I came up with this challenge to spice anyone’s sex life. You can be a frequent masturbator, the couple who can’t stop fucking, the person who feels sexy all the time, SINGLE, it’s literally for anyone who wants to make their current sex life a little bit more interesting.

This is especially great for people who are just starting their sexual journey to embracing their sexuality and curiosities. You’ll find simple challenges from touching yourself with your hands to more risque challenges like masturbating in front of your window.

It’s alright if you don’t complete the entire month, but try to go back to this chart whenever you want to try something new. You can even cut these up in tiny squares and throw it in a hat then choose from there. 

Spice up your sex life challe
Spice Up your Sex life Challenge

Challenge yourself! You can choose to do this alone on some days or include your partner in it. Either way, you will learn something new about yourself and your body. I myself will try to complete this as I’m trying to be my sexiest self, too!

 

You don’t need a lot of tools for this challenge except for YOURSELF + SEX TOY + LOTS OF LUBE

Here are some of my suggestions:

Since Valentine’s day is coming up soon, a lot of sex shops will be having a sale. So, take advantage of this and shop now! Make sure to check out My Favorite Sex Shops page for any codes to get an extra discount.

Lube

#lubelife

“#LubeLife empowers men, women and couples to enhance the sense of pleasure and quality of foreplay like no other lubricant.”

#lubelife prides itself on using quality ingredients only. Perfect for intercourse, foreplay, sex toys and condoms!

Make sure to use my code SEXISH10 to get 10% off your purchase!

 

 

 

 

Shop Sale

Save big on select valentine’s picks with code LOVERBABE @ babeland.com
Save big on select valentine’s picks with code LOVERBABE @ babeland.com

Babeland is one of the OGs of Sex Toy shops. I remember living in New York and walking into a Babeland store and feeling so comfortable! I’ve never met a staff in there that I did not like. Babeland is one of the stores that have a huge sale going on right now.

You’ll find sex toys, lingerie, accessories, and everything you’ll need for a perfect Valentine’s Day.

 

The Enigma by LELO
The Enigma by LELO

LELO is celebrating their 20th anniversary with a huge sale. A LELO toy would be the perfect gift to give to yourself this Valentine’s day. They’re luxury and sexy, everything that describes you.

But if you’re looking for a toy that does it all- a clit stimulator, vibrator, and a dildo, The Enigma is it!

I’ve never came so hard in my life before. This is one of my go to toys along with my Satisfyer. Check out The Enigma Review. This is all you’ll need for your challenge if any!

 

Toy Cleaners

JO Lube

JO lube is one my boyfriend and I’s favorite go to lube. Not only do they sell amazing quality lubes but, they also sell my favorite sex toy cleaner. It makes removing all the cum and crust off in all the crevices of any toy so easy. Check out How I clean my Dildos post to see it work.

Use my code SEXISH10 for 10% off your purchase.

 

 

 

 

 

Lingerie

Lingerie from Babeland
Rose and Thorn Lace Crop top and Panty from Babeland

There’s a challenge to walk around naked but if that’s too much for you right now, a sexy lingerie will do! Red and white really pop on the skin so aim for those colors this Valentine’s Day.

Rose and Thorn Lace Crop top and Panty from Babeland

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Give a Sloppy Blowjob

Giving a blowjob is definitely on the list but in particular, a SLOPPY BLOWJOB. No one likes dry head so prepare by reading How to Give Sloppy Head  and How to Start Enjoying Giving Blowjobs. Then you will be all set to give the greatest blowjob!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dildos

UNCUT #2 DUAL DENSITY DILDO by Tantus

If you’re alone on Valentine’s day and you need some dick, go get some dick. There are plenty of dildos out there that are surprisingly realistic! You can even choose the skin color if you have a preference. Check out Tantus’s collection of all types of dildos.

Another favorite dildo brand of mine is Vixen which apparently you can shop for on Amazon!

Vixen Creations Bandit Vixskin Dildo, Chocolate

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sensory Play

GLO Bondage – Blindfold by Babeland

Sensory play is on the list! Think your five senses – smell, touch, hear, taste, and see. Then think of taking one away while you’re having sex.

-Blindfold your partner while you whisper and lick every part of their body.

– Temperature play. Get some ice cubes and run it down your thighs, labia, and on your nipples. Get creative with it. Also, if you have glass toys you can play with its temperature by putting it in the freezer or running it under warm water.

– Get a pair of handcuffs and put them on yourself or your partner so that you’re restrained from doing any of the touching. This will drive you wild especially when your partner gets near your pussy.

– For sound, you can whisper dirty things in each others ear. The goal is to turn each other on with sound. Need help talking dirty? Here is a how to talk dirty post!

– If you want to play around with the idea of “pain” or something more rough, try a pinwheel with spikes on it. This with a blindfold! woo, HOT.

Okay, I think you’re finally ready for the challenge. If you have any questions or need help with coming up with any ideas, leave a comment below!

Stay Sexy & Curious

Instagam: @sexishh

Tiktok: @sexishblog

Disclaimer: Many of the links provided are affiliate links which means that I may get commission if you purchase something using the link on my website. (Thank you in advance) This is at no cost to you at all. I only share things that I believe would help one in their sexual journey. All my opinions and advice are my own. I am not a doctor or therapist so if you have any real life concerning questions, I am not the one.

Sexpert/

How to be Sexually Attractive to your Man Again

How to be sexually attractive to your man again

Oh, don’t we all love the honeymoon phase in a relationship. It’s carefree, fun and full of sex. It’s when that ends when we start to realize that the moves we were once doing no longer works. Although sparks may disappear in a relationship after some time, it doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to rekindle it again. It just takes a little work.

One way to rekindle your relationship is to become sexually attractive to your man all over again. Remember the times when he’d want to fuck your brains out all the time? Whenever and where ever? That can happen again. Wanting to be more sexually attractive to your man is already a step into rekindling your relationship.

How to be Sexually Attractive to Your Man Again

1.Talk about your personal goals: When you’ve been in your relationship long enough you become comfortable with silence. Fill that silence up with talking about your personal goals. Your goals have probably changed since you guys started dating so give him an update! Knowing that you’re still working on yourself in this partnership is an attractive trait.

2. Be sexually spontaneous: Remember all the crazy sex moves you tried in the beginning of the relationship? Continue to research and look for new moves to try. Maybe even gift him Position of the Day: Sex Everyday in Every Way. He’ll appreciate the effort that you want to do something sexy together.

Another tip to being sexually spontaneous is by sucking his dick when he least expects it. It could be while he’s watching television, getting dressed for work, or even while he’s cooking. Just don’t do it while he’s frying anything. Hell, even throw your titties in his face every now and then. Who can get mad at that?

3. Don’t wait for him: Taking initiative is sexy! If there is something you want to do, don’t wait and expect that he’ll do it, just do it. For example, if you want to have sex, make the move first. Or if it’s something he likes to do when he gets home, have that already ready for him. The fact that he doesn’t have to ask you to do something is attractive.

4. Remind him how sexy he is: Men don’t want to say it but they love being told how sexy they are. You always hear that it is a woman’s thing but trust me it’s a man thing too. It doesn’t take much to caress your man’s body and tell him what you love about it. It could be the thing he needs to get back into the sexy mood.

5. Walk around in something sexy: Maybe you guys got so comfortable with each other that you’re both more comfortable in sweats and with your hair in a bun. Switch it up by putting a little more effort into your makeup and walk around in lingerie. Show him what he’s missing!

6. Accept him for who he is: No one is perfect. There is always going to be someone out there who gets on your nerves. But if you love someone, the best thing to do is practice acceptance. Accept that you can’t change them. ” Either way, you accept the reality of the other person. You may not like it, you may not prefer it, you may feel sad or angry about it, but at a deeper level, you are at peace with it. That alone is a blessing. And sometimes, your shift to acceptance can help things get better.” says Rick Hanson, PHD on Pyschologytoday.com . By accepting your partner for who they are, you’ll be less likely to point out what you don’t approve of them which eventually can make you sexually attractive again!

7. Send him a naughty text: I bet your man forgot how sexy you are so send him a random naughty text to remind him. Try to do it when he’s at work so that he looks forward to something when he comes home. Run into the bathroom and maybe bend over and show him where his big dick of his is going to go later.

Or if you guys are in the same room, send him a text to have him blush in public.

 

How to be sexually attractive to your man again

8. Be yourself: Sometimes in a relationship we get caught up on loving each other too much that we forget to be ourselves. Change your mindset to starting all over again. Pretend you’re meeting each other again for the first time and you’re trying to show him all of you on the first date. Flirt like you used to flirt. He’ll be reminded all over again why he fell in love with you to begin with.

9. Confidence: Be confident! No one likes a person who is insecure and feels they can’t hold their own. Any chance you get to be confident, do it! There is truth to confidence is key! Check out my post on Ways to boost your Confidence before sex!

As you can see, it’s possible to reignite that spark in your relationship. It just takes a little effort. If you think about it too much, you’ll never do it. So, just have fun with it. Remember, it’s usually the small things that count the most!

Stay Sexy & Curious!

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How to Make Missionary Sex more Exciting

If missionary position was an actual person, I’d feel bad for them because of their bad reputation. No one thinks freaky, sexy when it comes to missionary, they think boring, lazy and vanilla. I have a feeling most people feel this way about missionary because they’ve had a bad experience where they felt the person fucking them was the only one enjoying the moment.

It’s especially easy to feel that way when you feel you have no control in the position. I understand because I’ve been in that situation before. I’m a tiny person and my type is 6 foot and up and built so you can imagine how small I can feel. It wasn’t until I switched the role where I was in control even if I was on the bottom that made me start to like missionary.

Since I started taking control of my sex life, I refuse to not orgasm. I believe that if my partner is going to cum, I’m going to cum, too. Of course, there are instances where I just want my partner to cum because his pleasure matters to me but for the most part, I am going to have an orgasm regardless. So because of that mindset I set for myself, I had to make missionary position work for me.

I’m happy to say while missionary position isn’t my favorite position, it’s not my least favorite. I actually think I have some bomb ass missionary sex. There are times where I’m even shocked by how many times I’ve cum in that position.

So here I am, Theresa, about to put missionary sex back on the map!

When I talk about missionary sex, missionary position, I’m talking about a person on the bottom while someone is on top penetrating them. Typically a man on top of a woman but it’s 2022 that can be anyone now.

Missionary position is one of the most underrated position as we forget the benefits of it. We forget that it’s a great starter position for any sex activity, it’s an intimate position, and it’s less effort for days you’re not trying to have a full on fuck session.

How to make missionary sex more exciting

Add sex toys – adding sex toys to any sex position always makes it more exciting including missionary. Grab your favorite vibrator and use it on your clit while he’s in you. Your orgasm will be so strong you’ll forget you hate the missionary position. Not only will you be satisfied but your partner will love watching you close up while you are orgasming on his dick. Check out my post on sex toys for beginners.

If using a vibrator is uncomfortable to use while in the missionary position, try using a butt plug to wake up the nerves in your bootyhole.

Switch up the Angles – When I’m on the bottom, I get in angles that work for me. Which means I get in positions that are either rubbing against my clit or I get in a position where his dick can get in deeper.

If you’re looking for more of a clit stimulation, try holding on to his booty while you grind your pelvic on his. Adjust yourself so that your clit is rubbing against him. Imagine dancehall music in the background and you’re trying to grind on him until he cums. Holding on to his booty will help you have more control with the movement so that you can determine how you want your clit to be rubbed. I like to think of it as me fucking him instead of him fucking me.

To get in a deeper angle, I like to get in the happy baby yoga stretch position. While he’s in you, bend your knees and grab the outside of your feet. Then, flex your feet up into your hands while spreading your knees apart. I find that in this position not only am I getting a deeper penetration which stimulates my G-spot more but it also makes keegling on his dick easier. The harder I flex my feet into my hands, the harder my keegle is on his dick.

Try other angles especially if you’re flexible. Take advantage of those yoga stretches you know and bring them to bed. If you can bring your legs behind your head, do that. Your partner will be impressed by your moves.

Make out more- Since you’re already in this intimate position might as well make it more interesting by making out more in between. The next time you’re in missionary, try making out passionately by using your entire body. Grab on to his head, his butt, and touch his entire body while you tongue each other down. I find making out more in between builds the moment up.  Also, don’t forget to kiss on each other’s necks!

Talk dirty to each other – Feedback and communication is always sexy in any position. If you like something that your partner is doing, make sure to let them know so that they continue to do what you like. You can also use this opportunity to communicate what you don’t like so you don’t feel like you’re stuck down there. Check out my post on dirty talk to help you come up with things to say during sex

Just let go- I find when I’m in the missionary position and I let go and focus on every thrust instead of how much I don’t like the position, I have a much more satisfying time. Next time, allow yourself to be free by letting whatever noise comes out of you and by moving the way your body wants to move. Don’t force anything and just let it happen.

Touch yourself- If you don’t have toys, you can always take it back to the old school way and use your hands! While you’re on the bottom, you can make it worth your time by touching your erogenous zones like your nipples, your neck, and your ears. Touch yourself the way you’d want to be touched since you know best what turns you on. If you don’t, that means you need to masturbate more. Check out my tips on masturbating!

Play with your partner’s butt: If you have access to his booty, play with it! Men secretly love when you worship their body too.

You see, missionary sex can be fun and exciting! You just need to change your mindset on it and know that you can be in control too.

Do you have any tips on how to make missionary sex more exciting? Comment below!

Stay Sexy & Curious!

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50 Self Care Ideas to Bring You Closer to Your True Sexy Self

Happy Monday, you sexy YOU!! I hope everyone had a great weekend. I sure did. My boyfriend had friends over which made the weekend felt like it lasted forever. While I had a great time, I’m glad it is over. I’m ready to start this Monday and get back to a routine.

But because I was socializing most of the time this weekend, I’m feeling a little mentally drained. I don’t know about you but I’m a spoiled brat and I want things to be about me all of the time.. Just kidding… I know that I can’t always have it my way but when I can, that starts with self-care.

According to verywellmind.com, self-care: “the term describes a conscious act a person takes in order to promote their own physical, mental, and emotional health.” It’s easy to forget about self-care especially when you are a busy person or taking care of others. But, if you think about it, how can you really help others if you don’t start with yourself first?

When you give advice to someone, you want to have a clear mind. When you are physically helping someone, you want to be healthy and strong to do so. Especially when you are on your sexual journey. When you are on your sexual journey or you’re looking to better your sex life, it starts with you!

Stop for a moment in your busy day and sit with your feelings.

Ask your soul what your body needs right NOW.

This could be that one thing that you need to help you get through your day without stressing.

I promise you will be a much happier person if you take some time out everyday to practice self-care. You’ll feel so much better the next time you help someone because at least you know in your heart that you put yourself first already.

You all know I am going to recommend masturbating for self-care because I believe that is the most intimate thing you can do for yourself but I’m biased! So, here is a list of 50 things you can do for yourself for self-care. You might even find that you do some of these things already which is great! 

Also check out the post on How to Boost Your Confidence before Sex. You might find that doing self-care for you can lead you to becoming more confident.

The next time you do that thing, remind yourself that you’re doing this for yourself and no one else. See how that makes you feel.

50 Self-Care Ideas
  1. Masturbate
  2. Get a massage
  3. Take a fitness class
  4. Create an alter for when you meditate
  5. Do NOTHING and don’t feel bad about it.
  6. Dance like no one is watching
  7. Buy a plant and repot it
  8. Watch a movie in the movie theatre
  9. Go on a weekend trip
  10. Go to a museum
  11. Eat at the restaurant you’ve had your eye on
  12. Journal
  13. Go to a bar and make new friends
  14. Roll & smoke a joint
  15. Go on Youtube and learn a new skill
  16. Go shopping or even window shop. Try on all the outfits you’re going to buy one day.
  17. Draw and paint something
  18. Take a bubble bath
  19. Take a cooking class
  20. Take a long walk
  21. Lay on the ground and stare at the sky
  22. Get a mani / pedi
  23. Check yourself out and then list everything you love about yourself
  24. Create a vision board
  25. Go to a stand up show
  26. Find affirmations that work for you
  27. Create a music playlist for all your moods
  28. Go to a puppy shop / dog park
  29. Put your phone away the entire day
  30. Binge watch your favorite show
  31. Try doing the opposite of something you would normally do
  32. Give yourself a hug
  33. Connect with yourself spiritually. Find meaning in everything.
  34. Call your best friend
  35. Eat a salad
  36. Compliment a stranger
  37. Go to a sex shop
  38. Lose control. What do you feel you control? Let go of it. Trust the Universe.
  39. Take a HOT yoga class
  40. Drink water
  41. Plan a date with your friends
  42. Sing out loud
  43. Bye yourself a cake
  44. Join meet up and meet with people who share the same interests
  45. Have a cheat meal
  46. Rearrange your room
  47. Take the train to anywhere
  48. Breathe
  49. Stretch
  50. Be intentional

What do you do for self-care? Let me know!

Stay Sexy & Curious

Follow Instagram @sexishh

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Reasons Why You’re Not Achieving your Sex Goals

It’s 2023 people! 2020 sucked, 2021 sucked even more, 2022 almost sucked but it seems like at the last minute we figured out what we had to do to make 2023 the best year!

I know, I know, I’m tired of hearing that, too. ” This year is going to be the best year!”

What year have you actually said that and actually meant it? I find that every year my goals pile up on top on each other and they ever get fulfilled.

This year, I refuse to be that person who says that and doesn’t see any change.

This year, I want to achieve more of my sex goals. Last year, my main focus was figuring out how to handle my emotions. I was experiencing new things so fast all at once that I found myself feeling overwhelmed most of the time. It was hard to feel sexy in the moments when I had to take responsibility for actions that I never knew were a problem until now. My emotions put a block on my sexual journey.

I’m happy to say that I’ve learned plenty of new tools to handle my emotions and I think, actually I know, I’m ready to get back on my sexual journey. I’m ready to have orgasms, I’m ready to be turned in ways I didn’t think I could turn and most of all, I’m ready to get to back to me!

I believe we can all make 2023 our sexy year. If we stay mindful and practice good habits everyday we will get there! Here are some of the reasons that were hindering me from accomplishing my goals. I know everyone is different but I hope you can find something useful on this list.

Also, don’t be too hard on yourself when you figure out the “why”. Just be grateful you found out sooner than later.

What are your sex goals for 2023? Comment below.

Reasons Why You Are Not Achieving Your Sex Goals

– Your goals are unrealistic

Some people don’t ever reach their goals because their goals are too vague and unrealistic. It’s easy to say you want to be the best at giving head or you want a million dollars but, how do you get there? I think we get so caught up with the end result that we forget that we actually have to do the work to get there.

Try breaking your goals into smaller and more specific goals.

The smaller goals is the work to get you to that bigger picture. You’ll find that achieving these smaller goals are much more rewarding than trying to do it without any plan.

– Negative self-talk

Could you be listening to the negative talk in your head? It’s easy to let negative self-talk ramble in your head to the point you stop going after what you want. Next time you find yourself questioning your abilities, write it down!

You need to be aware when you do it to be able to stop.

As soon as you catch yourself, identify it and tell yourself the opposite of what it’s saying.

For example, while I was sick in my room I had a lot of time to think. I found myself questioning my abilities and doubting myself if I could even run a successful sex blog. I was being hard on myself for not working on Sexish while I WAS SICK. That was my brain trying to make me give up over one little thing. I recognized it and said NOPE. I had to tell myself I just started being consistent and I can’t stop now! I have nothing to lose and everything to gain at this point. At that moment I felt powerful.

– Your focus is all over the place

A mantra that I live by is “Repetition is Mastery.” It means that you have to repeat something

for you to become good at it. Without it, you won’t see yourself improve. The reason why I found myself not achieving some of my goals was because I wasn’t focused on one thing. I was doing too many tasks at once which made it hard for me to see any accomplishments. I saw more unfinished work than finished work.

So try focusing on one thing and see where that takes you.

– Why are You doing It?

Why did you come up with this goal in the first place? Business books and self-help books always go back to the same thing when you’re lost, YOU! It’s easy to get lost when there are so many things trying to influence everyone these days. Go back to your roots and forget what everyone else is doing.

Go back to the reason why YOU came up with this goal in the first place.

-Too much control

It could be that you are trying to control the outcome. I find that when I could point out all of the things that can go wrong, I already put too much expectations on it. Especially when it comes to sex. Sex should be freeing not controlling! More on this on another post…

Have goals and be open to whatever comes your way.

– Fear of Failure

You’re so afraid to fail that you don’t even try. I’m sorry to tell you but you’re going to fail at one point. Life is about failing and then learning from it. If you don’t fail, how do you know what your best looks like? Just try!! No one is looking, I promise you!

-Excuses

Excuses , excuses, excuses. You probably aren’t achieving your goals because you’re making all these excuses! To me, excuses means not taking responsibility. I do not want to hear that you do not have time while there are people out here working 2 jobs and working on their dream job at the same time. If you really want to achieve your goals you will make time for it!

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”

Benjamin Franklin

I hope this list was enlightening! I really believe that we can do whatever we put our minds to. You just really need to WANT!

My 2023 sex goals is coming soon…

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @Sexishh

Buy me sex toys to review on my Amazon wish list here. 😀