Reasons Why You’re Not Achieving your Sex Goals

It’s 2023 people! 2020 sucked, 2021 sucked even more, 2022 almost sucked but it seems like at the last minute we figured out what we had to do to make 2023 the best year!

I know, I know, I’m tired of hearing that, too. ” This year is going to be the best year!”

What year have you actually said that and actually meant it? I find that every year my goals pile up on top on each other and they ever get fulfilled.

This year, I refuse to be that person who says that and doesn’t see any change.

This year, I want to achieve more of my sex goals. Last year, my main focus was figuring out how to handle my emotions. I was experiencing new things so fast all at once that I found myself feeling overwhelmed most of the time. It was hard to feel sexy in the moments when I had to take responsibility for actions that I never knew were a problem until now. My emotions put a block on my sexual journey.

I’m happy to say that I’ve learned plenty of new tools to handle my emotions and I think, actually I know, I’m ready to get back on my sexual journey. I’m ready to have orgasms, I’m ready to be turned in ways I didn’t think I could turn and most of all, I’m ready to get to back to me!

I believe we can all make 2023 our sexy year. If we stay mindful and practice good habits everyday we will get there! Here are some of the reasons that were hindering me from accomplishing my goals. I know everyone is different but I hope you can find something useful on this list.

Also, don’t be too hard on yourself when you figure out the “why”. Just be grateful you found out sooner than later.

What are your sex goals for 2023? Comment below.

Reasons Why You Are Not Achieving Your Sex Goals

Your goals are unrealistic

Some people don’t ever reach their goals because their goals are too vague and unrealistic. It’s easy to say you want to be the best at giving head or you want a million dollars but, how do you get there? I think we get so caught up with the end result that we forget that we actually have to do the work to get there.

Try breaking your goals into smaller and more specific goals.

The smaller goals is the work to get you to that bigger picture. You’ll find that achieving these smaller goals are much more rewarding than trying to do it without any plan.

Negative self-talk

Could you be listening to the negative talk in your head? It’s easy to let negative self-talk ramble in your head to the point you stop going after what you want. Next time you find yourself questioning your abilities, write it down!

You need to be aware when you do it to be able to stop.

As soon as you catch yourself, identify it and tell yourself the opposite of what it’s saying.

For example, while I was sick in my room I had a lot of time to think. I found myself questioning my abilities and doubting myself if I could even run a successful sex blog. I was being hard on myself for not working on Sexish while I WAS SICK. That was my brain trying to make me give up over one little thing. I recognized it and said NOPE. I had to tell myself I just started being consistent and I can’t stop now! I have nothing to lose and everything to gain at this point. At that moment I felt powerful.

Your focus is all over the place

A mantra that I live by is “Repetition is Mastery.” It means that you have to repeat something

for you to become good at it. Without it, you won’t see yourself improve. The reason why I found myself not achieving some of my goals was because I wasn’t focused on one thing. I was doing too many tasks at once which made it hard for me to see any accomplishments. I saw more unfinished work than finished work.

So try focusing on one thing and see where that takes you.

– Why are You doing It?

Why did you come up with this goal in the first place? Business books and self-help books always go back to the same thing when you’re lost, YOU! It’s easy to get lost when there are so many things trying to influence everyone these days. Go back to your roots and forget what everyone else is doing.

Go back to the reason why YOU came up with this goal in the first place.

-Too much control

It could be that you are trying to control the outcome. I find that when I could point out all of the things that can go wrong, I already put too much expectations on it. Especially when it comes to sex. Sex should be freeing not controlling! More on this on another post…

Have goals and be open to whatever comes your way.

– Fear of Failure

You’re so afraid to fail that you don’t even try. I’m sorry to tell you but you’re going to fail at one point. Life is about failing and then learning from it. If you don’t fail, how do you know what your best looks like? Just try!! No one is looking, I promise you!


Excuses , excuses, excuses. You probably aren’t achieving your goals because you’re making all these excuses! To me, excuses means not taking responsibility. I do not want to hear that you do not have time while there are people out here working 2 jobs and working on their dream job at the same time. If you really want to achieve your goals you will make time for it!

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”

Benjamin Franklin

I hope this list was enlightening! I really believe that we can do whatever we put our minds to. You just really need to WANT!

My 2023 sex goals is coming soon…

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @Sexishh

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