Tag: how to

That's What She Said/

How to Approach People in Real life to Date

Everyone who is ABLE to date has probably experienced or is on a dating app. I’m now hearing that people are even using apps to meet new friends! I honestly stopped keeping up with them. The only ones that I’m familiar with is Tinder, Hinge and Bumble.

As Millennials, most of us have only used apps to date and that is weird to me! I’m a Millennial myself but I’ve probably only used a dating app to meet with someone once or twice and even then, it was during COVID and I had to get dick somehow.

But besides those times, I’m an IN PERSON type of gyal. If I see someone I like and I want them, I’ll go and get them. I tell people this and it’s like, “you meet people in the wild still?!” Cmon now people, “the wild”? You mean just basic human interaction you’re surprised about? I’m sorry, but that is what is wrong with our generation. We are so quick to judge someone based off their pictures but are too pussy to say it to their face.

I personally don’t get it. I find online dating much more stressful than going up to someone. I’ll start from beginning to end of why I think the entire process is weird.

First, you have to match with someone who looks good in their pictures. Mind you, not everyone is a movies star and is photogenic, so that is half of the world you’re missing out. But when you do match with someone finally, now someone has to hit each other up with some text that they’ve tried with hundreds of other people. “Hi, I’m new to this” or ” Hey, you’re really pretty.” or they use some cheesy pick up line that they found off google.

If you’re not turned off by that, you continue to communicate with each other through text. THOUGH TEXT! So you don’t even know the tone of their voice, their personality or anything. It’s all assumptions from there. Already a terrible start to any type of relationship.

But after texting for a week or two, you finally agree to meet. You get to your date and they’re nothing like their pictures, their texts, or your assumptions. Now, you’re upset and you’re blaming the universe that you can’t find anyone for you.

It’s not you, it’s the entire process! It puts you in too much control of the situation. Which is fine sometimes, but then there’s times where you need to let the Universe take the wheel.

Let the Universe use that energy you’re giving out (your intentions, the type of person you want in your head, your dreams) to guide you. You can’t do that when you’re playing Fairy Godmother and picking out your “perfect” man based off their questions THEY chose to answer.

I know the idea of going up to someone in person is scary but trust me, it will be so worth it! Life is about living and taking risks! You never know what is going to happen if you don’t take them.

I believe life is about practicing your authentic power and getting to know the other souls on this Earth. While it seems like social media is bringing us together, it’s actually making us forget how to interact with each other.

We’re forgetting what real emotions look like and getting used to emojis. I hate to see this happen so here are some of my tips for meeting people in real life. It can be to date someone or meet new friends, whatever it is, do it in person and forget the app!

Here are some tips to meet someone in REAL LIFE to date

  1. Go out somewhere where you believe the type of person you want to be with would go. Like, if you’re interested in entertainment, find out where those type of people hang out. This will make it easier for you to find someone you have something in common with.
  2. Try to go out with friends the first couple of times if you’re new to this. I always feel more confident when I have my friends hyping me up.
  3. Give yourself a pep talk before. Remind yourself that you are the shit no matter what happens that night. If you know yourself that you are confident, sexy, smart, beautiful, no one else can tell you otherwise! It’s their loss at the end, not yours!
  4. Be yourself. The best part of meeting people IRL is that you can be yourself up front. It saves you a lot of time if you don’t like how they react to who you are. Because girl, you do not have time for the assumptions and the back and forth.
  5. Don’t be afraid to take initiative and approach them. If you see what you like, go after it! This is your chance. You never know what’s going to happen. That’s how I met my bf. I saw him a 6’4 sexy ass looking man across the street and I had to jump on him.
  6. There are so many things you can talk about to start a conversation. Compliment them, make fun of them, point something out in the room, or just simply take your hand out and introduce yourself.
  7. Think of this moment as something you can go back and tell your friends about. Everyone loves a good story, so make this one it!
  8. Go back to grade school days and send the person you want to talk to a note with your name and number on it. You are guaranteed to make that person’s day which is an amazing feeling regardless of what happens next.

I hope you learned something and try it out! Human interaction is the best interaction and I hate for people to forget that. Remember who cares what happens. As long as you’re having fun and your intentions are good then that’s perfect!

COMMENT to let me know about your experiences in real life.

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STAY SEXY & CURIOUS!

Instagram: @sexishh

Sexpert/

How to Keep your Long Distance Relationship Spicy

How to keep Your Long distance relationship Spicy

Although my boyfriend and I live together there are times where we are apart for a couple of weeks due to me visiting my family back in New York. Not only does the distance make the heart grow fonder but our sex drive also grows fonder. All of a sudden when we’re apart, everything reminds me of his sexy body and his sexy dick.

For some, long distance for a relationship can be scary especially if it’s a new relationship. In the beginning, I had all these worries that he’d forget about me and he wouldn’t be thinking about me while he lived his separate busy life. It wasn’t until we started to do things to keep the flame going even from a far. Suddenly, that worry is nonexistent. Our relationship has grown stronger from being a part and reuniting in person feels so much better.

Making an effort doesn’t have to feel like a drag, it can be fun and sexy! Here are 10 things to do with your partner to keep things sexy from a far.

– Send Good Morning texts

Good Morning texts are the best. It shows your partner you’re thinking about them as soon as you get up. If you know your man loves to masturbate in the morning, send him a dirty text hoping that he gets a great nut in before he starts his day. If he doesn’t masturbate, give him a reason to. He’ll love that you care about his sexual needs.

– Let him know you’re thinking about him

I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend so even when we’re apart I’m still reminded of him in everything I do. Either it be the food I’m eating, something I see on TV, or just a random memory of him pops up. If it makes me laugh to myself, I love texting or calling him to let him know what did that. My partner loves to know I’m thinking about him even on my busiest days. The next time you see that thing that made you smile, let him know!

-Movie night

If you and your partner watch movies regularly, that doesn’t have to stop just because you guys are far from each other. There’s plenty of streaming services where you can share a link with your partner and watch a movie at the same time in real time! The next time you do movie night, set your Facetime call somewhere so that your partner can see you. Then place it on mute. Now you can watch a movie together and still see your partners reaction. It’s the next best thing to watching a movie together in person.

-Start a challenge

Distance is great for the relationship because it gives you time to reflect on yourself and remind you that you still have a life without your partner. It’s great to have goals with each other but having a strong foundation with yourself is crucial to a successful relationship. To show that you can be successful without your partner, start a challenge with each other. For example, it could be a fitness challenge. Challenge each other on who’s going to be more fit the next time you see each other. This will force you to focus on yourself and make sure you win!

-Use long distance sex toys

YES, there are long distance sex toys! It’s not like Player One technology where you’ll be able to feel every touch of his but it’s better than nothing. Make phone sex more intense with sex toys you and your partner can control with an app. The idea of your partner controlling your pleasure plays with the sub/dom dynamic which can be real sexy. Using long distance toys allows you to still feel connected with your partner even when you’re far apart.

Moxie by We- Vibe App Controlled (Use code SEXISH for 10% off)
Lovense is known for its app controlled sex toys that works for long distance relationships
We-Vibe Ditto I love We-Vibe toys because you can connect it to your music so that the vibrations vibrate to the beat

-Clone a Willy

Do you love your partner’s dick so much you wish you could take it everywhere? Well, Clone a Willy just made that possible! With Clone a Willy, you’re able to get all your favorite details on his dick on to your dildo. Take it everywhere you go, just make sure to hide it from the kids when visiting family.

– Try a Phone call instead

Remember how good 2 hour phone calls made you feel? Do that again!

Whenever I want to have a long conversation, I’ll do a phone call instead of a Facetime call. Sometimes when I’m on Facetime, I get distracted by how I look instead of focusing on what he’s saying. Giving him all your attention will make him feel special. Also, phone calls are just so much more romantic and I’m a sucker for romance.

– Think of ways you can surprise him for when you see him next

It’s finally the day you’re going to see each other. While you are enough, getting something extra will be even better. I love surprising my man with something when I see him. Either it be a food that he’s been craving or surprising him with something I saw that reminded me of him. Before seeing him, let him know you have a surprise. This will have him anticipating you even more.

Check out my Valentines’s day idea post to get more tips on how you can surprise your man! 

As you can see there are plenty of things you can do to keep your long distance relationship interesting and spicy. Don’t let the distance thing be a reason why you shouldn’t be with someone that could potentially be your one. As long as you both want it to work, there will be nothing that will get in the way of it!

I hope this helps on your current or next long distance relationship. Let me know if you do anything else to keep your relationship spicy!

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @SEXISHH

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Check out My Favorite Sex Shops to buy your sex toys to get you started on your sexual journey! 

Sexpert/

How to introduce Anal Play with your straight boyfriend

I think we’re getting somewhere with butt play with women. I see a lot more posts and articles talking abut anal sex. Which yes!! I love anal sex (when done right) and I want EVERY BODY to enjoy it. That includes straight men, too!

As a former dominatrix, I saw plenty of men, particularly straight men getting pegged and loving it! Pegging for those of you who don’t know, is usually a “woman to man” act when a woman wears a strap-on with a dildo and penetrates a man anally.

After this experience, It made me wonder how many other straight men would enjoy it if they just gave it a chance.

Pegging seems like an advanced sport especially if your man has never tried any type of butt play in the past. So it’s best to start slow.

Unfortunately, men have this idea that any type of butt play is considered “gay.” What makes someone gay is not the type of sex they’re having but with who they’re having it with. If you’re doing things with your partner who is a woman, then it’s just you having sex with your woman. Once men can get through that in their head then it’s time for the convincing and steps to get him to try it.

(I’ll be using anal sex and anal play interchangeably)

Remember, just like anal play, you can’t force it. Be patient and it will come!

How to Approach

  • Approaching your man to do anal play can go in all types of directions. He can be super down to try it, he could be offended by it, or he could be curious and want to hear more. Whatever the response, it’s important that you make him feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable with you. Let him know that he’s in a safe space and that whatever you guys do in the bedroom is your business.
  • When approaching the topic to your man, come at it with an enthusiastic attitude. Let him know how much it would turn you on if you were to play with his booty hole. He might even want to try it just by how turned on you are.
  • Let him know all of the facts about anal play. Let him know that his booty hole (inside and around) is filled with tons of nerve endings that can be pleasurable.

First time trying anal play

After you’ve convinced him to bring anal play to the bedroom, it’s time to get to work.

  • If it’s his first time, most likely telling him to bend over will feel uncomfortable for him. Instead, have him lay on his back. Start with a sensual blowjob then make your way down to his booty hole with your tongue. While you lick, try to jerk his dick off at the same time. When you’re down there, try to give his booty hole a bad make out session. Think about that time when you made out with someone and all they did was poke their tongue in your mouth like a dagger. Do that along with long lick strokes. This will get him used to the sensation around his booty hole.
  • If he likes the licking, great! Now, you can add some fingers. Before inserting your fingers in his booty hole, make sure your hands are clean. You’ll also want to make sure to have lots of lube near by. Think about your first time doing anal play, treat him the way you’d like to be treated.
  • For anyone’s first time, it can be nerve wrecking and that is the opposite of how you want him to feel.You want him to be relaxed as possible so that when you try to get your fingers in there it’s less painful. Do some breathing exercises together beforehand to get him relaxed.

Whether you’re the one playing with a booty hole or you’re the one whos booty hole is being played with, adding anal play is a great way for you to add some kink in the bedroom if you’re looking to spice things up.Think of exploring anal play with your partner as something that’s part of exploring your sexuality. You’re on a journey to figuring out what feels good to you and what turns you on. If this doesn’t work for you then you’ve just discovered something new which is the whole point of trying! So, go for it!

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @sexishh

Check out my post for how to prepare for anal!

Sexpert/

How to Make your Man feel Attractive

Feeling sexy before, during and after sex is a must if you want to get full pleasure from any sex act you’re doing. In a partnership, it’s not enough that we feel sexy on our own. I believe when everyone in the relationship feels sexy, the sexier the sex will be.

Often when we think of sexy in the bedroom, we think of women. We put on lingerie to accentuate our bodies, we put on makeup to accentuate our face, man, we’ll even get a whole haircut to feel sexy. In other words, we put in the effort to look sexy while it feels like men just show up. Whether it’s toxic masculinity or not enough men speaking up about it, men do want to feel sexy and attractive, too.

If you’ve ever been on a team or if you’ve ever been cheered on before, you know the cheers make you perform better. You start to believe in yourself and then you go above and beyond to prove that you can do it. This is the same in a relationship. When we uplift each other in a relationship, the relationship gets stronger. Instead of acting like it’s all about one person, we’re now acting like a team.

It’s not easy for men to be vulnerable with us. It takes a lot of courage from them. We don’t even see men being the main focus in porn. I hope to see more porn like this to show that men can be sexy too! The only porn I have seen done that is “Seehimfuck.” Check it out if you want to see something different.

If we begin to make our man feel as sexy as they make us, it can open the doors for him to be more vulnerable, curious and be their truest sexiest self with us. They might even let us lick their booty hole! Let the fun begin!

On a daily, we should be making an effort to making our man feel as sexy as they make us. We should be uplifting each other. Whether it’s in bed, when we’re out for lunch, or if they’re jerking off. If you’re looking to have a stronger and healthier intimate relationship with your partner, start here.

How to Make your Man feel Sexy

– Don’t be upset when other women are checking your man out

Often we’ll see our man get checked out by other women and be upset. Instead of feeling jealousy, feel proud people are checking him out. You’re standing next to a beautiful person and it’s normal for people to look at beautiful people. I don’t know about you but I rather have a partner people check out vs no one checking them out.

– Turn their insecurities around

When we get into a relationship, it’s more than likely they’ve done something with their previous partner that they were shamed for. It could be for watching porn, showing off too much skin, or not being able to be themselves. Instead of shaming them, turn their insecurities to positives. Embrace that part of them. Let them know that you love them no matter what they’re into.

– Tell them how much they turn you on at random moments

Doesn’t matter where you are, tell them how much they turn you on at the most random moments. It could be as soon as they walk through the door, when they’re taking a shower, when they’re taking a shit. The more random the moment, the more sweeter it will be!

-Touch/grab your favorite body part of theirs

While you guys are chilling, try caressing his chest or rub his dick while you tell him that it’s your favorite body part of his. He’ll be sure to always come out confidently the next time he shows that part of himself.

– Look at him with those sexy eyes

Sometimes silence does speak louder than words. Staring at your mans eyes while thinking about all of the things you want to do to him can even be sexier than saying it. Randomly stare and admire him.

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @sexishh

How do you feel about making your man feel sexy? Comment below!

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Sexpert/

How to Dirty Talk 101

Oh dirty talking, you’ve got to love it! It’s always something you never thought you would say out loud until you do and you’re like “damn, my pussy is wet. What else can I say?”

Dirty talk can be intimidating, exciting and awkward at first.

Like everything, practice makes perfect. Dirty talk is a great way to intensify things in the bedroom which can lead to better sex and becoming closer to your partner sexually. I believe it brings out a side of ourselves that we never knew was there. It taps into another sexual realm that can be so intense!

If you think you’re ready to talk dirty, here are some tips to get you started.

Figure Out Each Other’s Desires

First things first, figure out what you and your partner are into. What are their turn ons, turn offs, fantasies, desires? Then have a discussion about it. Don’t sleep on communication because that can be sexy too. Imagine knowing what your partner is into and being able to fully satisfy it? HOT.

It’s also important to know what words are forbidden so that you don’t end up killing the mood. For me, the word is “B*tch.” Don’t call me a bitch if you don’t want my pussy to dry up like a vacuum.

If a discussion is off the table, try asking questions during sex. Getting feedback from your partner can be another form of dirty talk. While you’re exploring each others bodies, ask questions like “do you like it when I do this?” “YES! Don’t stop!” “You’re so sexy.”

Confidence

Without confidence your sex talk will sound forced and awkward. I remember when I was starting to talk dirty, I would whisper real low so that they wouldn’t hear it just in case I said something off. You do not want to be in that situation as you will get a lot of “huh?” Not cute. Check out my blog post on confidence and why you need it to be successful at dirty talking.

Be Yourself

Be yourself! It will show if you’re not. It can be possible you’re not the explicit type and you’re more sensual. Try saying what you want to say out loud to yourself and see how it makes you feel. If you cringe, maybe it’s not for you. If you even you want to fuck yourself, then YES! Your partner will appreciate what you’re saying if it’s very “you.” That’s why they fell in love with you in the first place right? For you!

Text It First

Dirty talking is not just for in person. If you’re not ready to talk dirty in person just yet, try texting it first. This will be a great way to find out if your partner is into it too. Use this opportunity to ask questions and tell them how you are feeling so that you can use this information when you get into bed.

Here are some dirty talk phrases to try.

  1. “I want your hard dick in me. “
  2. “ I want you to make me beg for it.”
  3. “ You’re so sexy, I can stare at you all night.”
  4. “ You feel so good”
  5. “ Your pussy/dick feels so good.”
  6. “I want you so bad.”
  7. “ Just like that!”
  8. “ I want to make you cum”

Dirty talking can be a whole different experience in itself. It will tap into feelings you’ve never tapped into before. According to Fatherly.com, “When you feel sexy and empowered and are being creative in your words and imagination, you are more likely to feel comfortable trying new things, asking for what you want, and feeling comfortable with your sexuality,” says Dr. Rachel Needle, a licensed psychologist in West Palm Beach, Florida and the Co-Director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. ” Have fun talking dirty!! As long there is consent, I say go for it. Even if it ends up with you guys cracking up. At least you tried.

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram:@Sexishh