Category: That’s What She Said

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Meditation Masturbation

It’s day 2 of Sexish Spice up your Sex Life Challenge and today’s challenge is meditation masturbation. If you already practice yoga, this will be easy!

Meditation Masturbation is bringing traditional meditation into your masturbation sessions to bring awareness to what is pleasurable to you. In other words, the goal isn’t to orgasm but to feel all the feelings that arise when you are masturbating. This will eventually help with your orgasms alone and with partnered sex. 

As humans we are always so busy. We’re constantly thinking about how we’re going to make money, what we’re going to eat tonight, did I leave the stove off? No wonder it’s so hard for some of us to orgasm when we masturbate or during partner sex. Our brains are constantly thinking about the future. 

Meditation masturbation forces you to focus on pleasure instead of your crazy hectic life. Which is why I included this challenge. This challenge challenges one to take a beat and to acknowledge all the different sensations one can feel. Sometimes the best way to do that is by focusing on just that. I believe it’s important we understand our bodies and we know what makes us feel good! How do you expect someone else to figure out how to make you feel good when you can’t do that for yourself?

This may seem intimidating but it really isn’t! It’s actually really simple! Here is a “How to” to get you started.

How to practice meditation masturbation:

    1. Block a time in your day: You’ll want to plan your meditation masturbation on a day where you have 0 distractions and 0 responsibilities. Aim for the weekend as your brain recognizes that it’s the time to relax!
    2. Set the mood: Do whatever you have to do to get you in the mood to feel sexy. For me, the environment is everything. I like to burn palo santo and let the smoke fill the air to clear out any bad energy in the room. Also, I use essential oils to wake up my senses to relax and stay focused. Some of my favorite oils are eucalyptus and peppermint. MMMM!!
      Palo Santo

      Peppermint Essential Oil

 

  1. Get in a comfortable position: I suggest laying on your back with your knees bent. Either your feet on the bed or with your legs in butterfly position. Relax try not to tense up.
  2. Breathe: Before you do anything, practice focusing on your breathing. I like to breathe in for 4 secs and breathe out for 4secs. Continue to do this throughout your masturbation session. Check out Masturbation Tip: Breathe in and out.
  3. Set an intention: Set an intention for your masturbation session. Why are you doing this? An intention I like to set for myself is “ I am open to feeling” “I am open to letting go” “I am doing this for me” “I don’t need to cum, just relax.” I like to repeat my intentions while I masturbate especially when my mind starts to wander. 
  4. Touch yourself: Don’t rush this time for yourself. Explore each body part as if you were going on a date with them. Squeeze, rub, caress, play with the pressure. Get creative on how you touch yourself. Something that I enjoyed was squeezing my inner thighs with my hands while at the same time squeezing my legs together. TRY IT! Remember to breathe while you’re doing all of this! It’s easy to tense up especially when you start to feel something different. 
  5. Rock your hips: Don’t just lay there, move your hips! Move it in circles, up and down. Pretend you’re at a club grinding your butt on someone’s dick. Imagine your goal is to get the other person hard.
  6. Let go: Literally, let go! Feel and embrace the different sensations you’re feeling. Don’t stop at any point unless you’re hurting. Ya heard?! HURTING NOT PLEASURING!

The goal isn’t to orgasm but you probably will and trust me you will not be mad. I find that when I focus on my breathing while I masturbate, I cum a lot faster. I just can’t help it. So when you find that you’re cumming way sooner than you want to, slow it down. Take the sex toy away from you or lower the intensity. 

As you practice your breathing in your meditation session, you’ll be able to bring it to your partnered sex. Watch your time transform.

I hope this helps! If you decide to join the challenge #sexishchallenge

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @Sexishh

 

10 SUBSCRIBERS!

10 SUBSCRIBERS!! It might not seem a lot to you but to me, I’ve accomplished my January goal! That goal was to get 10 subscribers by the end of the month! I’m so proud of where Sexish has gone in the last month or two since I’ve been consistent.

I started sexishblog.com using WIX and then switched over to wordpress because supposedly WIX does not allow adult content. That was unacceptalbe as a sex blogger because best believe I am posting adult content. I want to have the option to posting titties and ass on my blog. Most likely just ass because I’m an ass person all day. So if titties are your thing, please reconsider now. JUST KIDDING! I’ll throw in a tittie every now and then.

It wasn’t easy transferring all my content to wordpress. There was coding involved and the last time I dealt with any type of coding was during Myspace days. Now looking back at it, I was pretty dope with it. I knew how to change colors, fonts, and even the style of paragraphs. Oh, how nice it was to be young and learn new skills so fast. Of course, almost 15 years later I remember 0 information on it. I had to relearn every thing all over again.

It was torture having Sexishblog.com down for a couple of days to figure out how wordpress worked. I couldn’t stop thinking how many people out there needed a friend like me to talk sex talk with. While it was frustrating it was worth it! Because after figuring out what “cache”,”plugins”, “widgets” and all of those technical words meant, we are now here! I am in love with sexishblog.com! It’s sexy, fun, & straight to the point. It’s all about sex!!

I want to say thank you to everyone who is subscribed! I appreciate your support and I hope you learn something new every time you get a ding on a new post! I’m so excited to be on this journey with you to embracing your sexuality! I wish you all days full of jizz in your life! I love you!

Muah!! THANK YOU!!

Don’t forget to check out My favorite sex shops page! There is a bunch of Valentine’s day sale going on that you do not want to miss!

Stay Sexy & Curious

Instagram:@sexishh

Sometime’s a Small dick is all You Need

I love my friends back home in New York because they’re like me. They love to talk about sex! There is no such thing as too much information about our sex lives. Which is why this weekend my friend did not hesitate to send me a voice memo that she is messing with a “Short Dick King.”

“It was the best- that I’ve had for a very long time.” ” I believe there are certain dicks that are made for certain vaginas.”

Of course the jokes of “small dicks” flooded the chat but in all seriousness, I think she had something going when she said that certain dicks are made for certain vaginas.

I, myself, love me a big, long, thick dick even when there are times when I think my pussy can’t handle it. Personally, that’s the part I like. I like the struggle and the small amount of pain I endure when it’s half way in. That is what extra extra lube is for!

Give Small Dicks a Chance

While I’ve had my fair share of big ol’ dicks, I’ve also had experiences with smallish to medium size dicks. Not all of my experiences were terrible which is why I think we need to give them more credit.

When I think about those times, I remember my pussy being much wetter. It was very slippery. My pussy had to do less work to make it work and my pussy wasn’t mad at that.

Porn & Big Dicks

We always talk about women comparing themselves to pornstars and we forget men do it too. Just like porn makes some women feel insecure about their performance, porn makes men feel insecure about their dick size. Imagine them seeing a women screaming with pleasure because they’re being dicked down by a gigantic dick. Who wouldn’t feel some type of way from it.

Male pornstars are performers too! They are sought out for one thing and one thing only, their dick size. That is why you’ll notice most of the men are not really attractive. But who’s looking at them anyways? (no offense)

In reality, finding a big dick like the ones on BLACKED is a rare find. And when one does find one, it’s often intimidating and uncomfortable.

Women are coming out about pain

I’m starting to notice that more women are coming out about pain during sex and it’s because some dicks are too painful for women to handle. Which is normal! I encourage more women to talk about their pain during sex because there is too much noise from society on what type of dick we should be enjoying.

Luckily there are accessories to add during sex if you want to adjust the depth of how deep a dick can go. Check out Ohnut if you are experiencing this pain.

Consistent pain during sex is not normal and you should consult with a doctor if you’re experiencing this.

Benefits of Small Dicks

Big dicks has it’s perks but don’t sleep on the smaller dicks! They have their own benefits too. Let us normalize smaller dick sizes because that is most of the population. I want to hear more, “I loved the small/medium size dick I had last night!”

With the right positions and right moves, you will be able to cum just as hard as you would with a big dick. You might even find that you have more fun after experiencing one!

1. Giving a blowjob : If you give blowjobs, the idea of deep throating a dick has crossed your mind. For some, it’s a goal and for some, it feels impossible to attempt because all they’ve ever been faced with are big dicks. Luckily with a smaller dick, your blowjob skills will go from 0-100 real quick!

What you couldn’t do to a big dick before you can do to a smaller dick but even better. Your man will be so impressed seeing you take their entire dick in your mouth.

TIP: When you have his dick in your mouth tell him how good it feels to boost his confidence. Remember, the more confident you feel the better you will perform. Check out my post on Ways to boost your confidence during sex.

2. Anal sex won’t hurt as much: The reason for most painful anal sex is from the insertion of a large object/large dick in a small bootyhole. It also doesn’t help that most people feel intimidated by the act which will make it more difficult to relax in the situation.

With a smaller dick, pain will obviously be less painful due to the size. So if you’ve been wanting to try anal, get yourself a small dick. Don’t forget the lube! You’ll still need it even with a smaller dick.

3. Your pussy stays wet longer: It’s a fact that when you have a bigger dick in you, the harder it is for your pussy to stay lubricated. Dr. Jennifer Landa, MD, OB-GYN, and Chief medical officer at BodylogicMD told POPSUGAR, “For women with hormonal changes in perimenopause and menopause, a smaller penis can be beneficial because these women tend to have less lubrication and the cells of the vagina actually shrink in menopause, which can make accommodating a larger penis more difficult.”

I can definitely back this up. When I was in a relationship before my hoe days, I realized how wet I would get. It was not until I started messing with bigger dicks that I realized I started to dry up faster. I was so confused to why this was happening but it did teach me about lube!! A must!

Check out my favorite sex shops to find the perfect lube. Use code sexish10 for JO#lubelife

4. He compensates in other areas: Men with smaller dicks know they lack in size therefore they will go above and beyond to pleasure their partner. They will try to compensate for other areas in the bedroom. For example, if they’re not good with their stroke game best believe they’re going to perfect eating your pussy out or even be more accepting of sex toys in the bedroom.

Penetration isn’t everything, actually only 30% of women are orgasming from it. What does that say? Big dicks, you might be doing something wrong. If you find yourself with someone who has a smaller penis, try to include more foreplay. Foreplay will get you heated so fast that you might even forget about the size.

5. Kinks: When I was a Dominiatrix I was introduced to the kink of small penis humiliation. “Small penis humiliation is a form of verbal erotic humiliation involving the penis where a dominant person usually consensually degrades a submissive’s penis.” The person doesn’t necessarily have to have a small penis to enjoy this type of degrade. It’s mainly the idea of making them feel their dick is useless that turns them on.

Of course this is something you would have to discuss with your partner to see if they’re okay with this type of humiliation. Don’t just make fun of your partner’s penis size out of nowhere. That’s just plain mean.

Hey, how would you know you don’t like it if you don’t try?! It can be real hot when you think of it as a dominant/submissive play. This is a little extreme but it’s worth checking out on porn if you’ve never seen it.

As you can see, a smaller dick is not the end of the world! It just means you might have to get a little more creatively sexy which is not a terrible thing! That sounds exciting! So, don’t be discouraged by the size and continue to rock the boat, rock the boat!

 

Have you had experiences with a smaller dick? What are the ways you make it work?

Stay Sexy & Curious
Instagram:@sexishh

An Orgasm Twitter Thread

My pussy is so sore from yesterday’s masturbation session in the best way! I decided to spend my afternoon trying out my new vibrator, CATO from VIVE. I had tried it once before but I really wanted to give it an honest review. So, I got to it. I masturbated and took notes! Here is a thread I shared on twitter of my experience with the CATO by VIVE. Just thinking about it gets me excited.  A real review is in the works, but for now, enjoy!

 

Lube: #LUBELIFE

Toy: CATO by VIVE

Spice Up Your Sex Life Challenge

It’s almost that time of the year where everyone can’t help but feel LOVE in the air! Oh and let’s not forget the most commercialized holiday.The media and the stores you go in will not let you forget it.

It’s only mid January, can we appreciate this moment as this is the first time in almost 3 years where we are not constantly talking about a pandemic. We’ve finally gone back to not knowing what happens at the White House and I’m happy about that. It’s back to being boring.

WOOOOSAAAAAAA.

OKAY back to sex. Whether you are spending the month of February alone, with a fuck buddy or with a partner, I have a challenge for you. I came up with this challenge to spice anyone’s sex life. You can be a frequent masturbator, the couple who can’t stop fucking, the person who feels sexy all the time, SINGLE, it’s literally for anyone who wants to make their current sex life a little bit more interesting.

This is especially great for people who are just starting their sexual journey to embracing their sexuality and curiosities. You’ll find simple challenges from touching yourself with your hands to more risque challenges like masturbating in front of your window.

It’s alright if you don’t complete the entire month, but try to go back to this chart whenever you want to try something new. You can even cut these up in tiny squares and throw it in a hat then choose from there. 

Spice up your sex life challe
Spice Up your Sex life Challenge

Challenge yourself! You can choose to do this alone on some days or include your partner in it. Either way, you will learn something new about yourself and your body. I myself will try to complete this as I’m trying to be my sexiest self, too!

 

You don’t need a lot of tools for this challenge except for YOURSELF + SEX TOY + LOTS OF LUBE

Here are some of my suggestions:

Since Valentine’s day is coming up soon, a lot of sex shops will be having a sale. So, take advantage of this and shop now! Make sure to check out My Favorite Sex Shops page for any codes to get an extra discount.

Lube

#lubelife

“#LubeLife empowers men, women and couples to enhance the sense of pleasure and quality of foreplay like no other lubricant.”

#lubelife prides itself on using quality ingredients only. Perfect for intercourse, foreplay, sex toys and condoms!

Make sure to use my code SEXISH10 to get 10% off your purchase!

 

 

 

 

Shop Sale

Save big on select valentine’s picks with code LOVERBABE @ babeland.com
Save big on select valentine’s picks with code LOVERBABE @ babeland.com

Babeland is one of the OGs of Sex Toy shops. I remember living in New York and walking into a Babeland store and feeling so comfortable! I’ve never met a staff in there that I did not like. Babeland is one of the stores that have a huge sale going on right now.

You’ll find sex toys, lingerie, accessories, and everything you’ll need for a perfect Valentine’s Day.

 

The Enigma by LELO
The Enigma by LELO

LELO is celebrating their 20th anniversary with a huge sale. A LELO toy would be the perfect gift to give to yourself this Valentine’s day. They’re luxury and sexy, everything that describes you.

But if you’re looking for a toy that does it all- a clit stimulator, vibrator, and a dildo, The Enigma is it!

I’ve never came so hard in my life before. This is one of my go to toys along with my Satisfyer. Check out The Enigma Review. This is all you’ll need for your challenge if any!

 

Toy Cleaners

JO Lube

JO lube is one my boyfriend and I’s favorite go to lube. Not only do they sell amazing quality lubes but, they also sell my favorite sex toy cleaner. It makes removing all the cum and crust off in all the crevices of any toy so easy. Check out How I clean my Dildos post to see it work.

Use my code SEXISH10 for 10% off your purchase.

 

 

 

 

 

Lingerie

Lingerie from Babeland
Rose and Thorn Lace Crop top and Panty from Babeland

There’s a challenge to walk around naked but if that’s too much for you right now, a sexy lingerie will do! Red and white really pop on the skin so aim for those colors this Valentine’s Day.

Rose and Thorn Lace Crop top and Panty from Babeland

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Give a Sloppy Blowjob

Giving a blowjob is definitely on the list but in particular, a SLOPPY BLOWJOB. No one likes dry head so prepare by reading How to Give Sloppy Head  and How to Start Enjoying Giving Blowjobs. Then you will be all set to give the greatest blowjob!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dildos

UNCUT #2 DUAL DENSITY DILDO by Tantus

If you’re alone on Valentine’s day and you need some dick, go get some dick. There are plenty of dildos out there that are surprisingly realistic! You can even choose the skin color if you have a preference. Check out Tantus’s collection of all types of dildos.

Another favorite dildo brand of mine is Vixen which apparently you can shop for on Amazon!

Vixen Creations Bandit Vixskin Dildo, Chocolate

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sensory Play

GLO Bondage – Blindfold by Babeland

Sensory play is on the list! Think your five senses – smell, touch, hear, taste, and see. Then think of taking one away while you’re having sex.

-Blindfold your partner while you whisper and lick every part of their body.

– Temperature play. Get some ice cubes and run it down your thighs, labia, and on your nipples. Get creative with it. Also, if you have glass toys you can play with its temperature by putting it in the freezer or running it under warm water.

– Get a pair of handcuffs and put them on yourself or your partner so that you’re restrained from doing any of the touching. This will drive you wild especially when your partner gets near your pussy.

– For sound, you can whisper dirty things in each others ear. The goal is to turn each other on with sound. Need help talking dirty? Here is a how to talk dirty post!

– If you want to play around with the idea of “pain” or something more rough, try a pinwheel with spikes on it. This with a blindfold! woo, HOT.

Okay, I think you’re finally ready for the challenge. If you have any questions or need help with coming up with any ideas, leave a comment below!

Stay Sexy & Curious

Instagam: @sexishh

Tiktok: @sexishblog

Disclaimer: Many of the links provided are affiliate links which means that I may get commission if you purchase something using the link on my website. (Thank you in advance) This is at no cost to you at all. I only share things that I believe would help one in their sexual journey. All my opinions and advice are my own. I am not a doctor or therapist so if you have any real life concerning questions, I am not the one.